How are you ‘showing up?’
Feels late in the month to say Happy New Year, but I shall say it anyway: Happy New Year! I am writing this on the last day of January and will publish it on 1 February.
Hope your year has got off to a great start. This is my first article for 2026. I hope to keep a regular writing cadence this year. I am not sure what that cadence is yet.
This month has been quite a month. It has gone fast, and it was eventful for me.
I took some time between Christmas and New Year to work on my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I was a little off-centre towards the last part of 2025 and made a conscious effort to re-centre.
Work has been busy this month. My work with 2 different clients, which involved 2 different areas of my expertise, ironically, had the same thing in common.
How my clients ‘showed up’ determined their outcomes!
And this applies to all of us hence the focus for this article.
First, my personal backstory.
I have been having an issue with my right eye for a few months now. An ophthalmologist and my optometrist said everything looked alright, and my eye was not dry. However, the treatment (for my symptoms) was for dry eyes. (I still have not got my head round this).
But early last week, I made an appointment to see another ophthalmologist for another opinion. I found someone who specialises in dry eyes, hoping I might get answers.
That consultation was the worst experience I have had with a doctor.
In summary, he looked uninterested, didn’t make eye contact, and his voice was monotone. The final straw was when I asked him about a product he recommended, and his answer was, ‘why don’t you Google it!’
I walked out of the door more upset than when I arrived at the hospital. I felt comforted by not giving up during the consultation and forced answers out of him, especially with my last question, ‘what would you do if you were me?’
It was the only time I saw him pause and think. I went to him for his expertise, but unfortunately, my experience (of him) was so upsetting and disappointing.
We can be the expert, but if we don’t ‘show up’ fully present, the outcome may not be ideal. My experience with the doctor is a good example.
So, how can we ‘show up’ for better outcomes?
Incidentally, this is an exercise I did with one of my clients.
1. Start with your face.
What expression are you ‘wearing’? Do you have a serious look that people hesitate to connect with you? If yes, smile more.
Make eye contact and acknowledge the other person. This helps ‘build the bridge’.
2. What are you thinking?
What is the narrative playing in your head when connecting with others? This directly impacts the experience.
I could not read the doctor’s thoughts, but his facial expression and body language ‘said’ that he did not want to be there.
3. What are you feeling?
What emotions are you in when connecting with others? Emotions are energy that moves us to action. We act through our emotions. An unhelpful emotion or mood could have the opposite effect from what you intended.
4. How is your body (posture)?
Are you standing straight, hunched over, shoulders drooping, head tilted?
Our body sends signals before we speak. Impressions are made in nanoseconds before we have a chance to open our mouths.
(Interestingly, as I saw the doctor walk into the clinic, his posture and swagger didn’t give me confidence! But I kept an open mind…. then I met him!).
The above is our ‘energy’ and the way others experience us. Any one of these attributes can easily derail our ‘energy’ when connecting with others.
We have all experienced this when interacting with others. But sometimes we can’t spot it in ourselves unless we ask for feedback. Feedback can help us ‘adjust’ attributes for better outcomes.
If all this sounds complicated, think of a person you admire and capture (write down) their detailed attributes, ‘embody’ them, and see how you get on.
If you find yourself ‘stuck’ during an interaction, think of that person and ask, ‘what would X do now?’
Best wishes for the year!
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com